THE PROMISED LAND

Today I am 40!!! Praise the Lord! I am so grateful to Him for my life and all the blessings I have. I got a birthday card this week and it said something like, "40 is a great year for fresh starts." I was recalling it during breakfast yesterday and remembered the Israelites, they wandered around 40 years and then entered the Promised Land. I believe I am entering my Promised Land as I agree with the Lord about my life. Today during church the Lord gave me this in Exodus 14:

9But the Egyptians pursued after them, all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen, and his army, and overtook them encamping by the sea, beside Pihahiroth, before Baalzephon.

10And when Pharaoh drew nigh, the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the LORD.

11And they said unto Moses, Because there were no graves in Egypt, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt?

12Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness.

13And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.

14The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

That is so me...whining in the wilderness and wanting to go back and serve the Egyptians (sin, behaviors, idols, places) He is delivering me from...but Moses said, "...for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever."

Click here for links to my previous posts relating to my difficulty in staying in the season the Lord has me in. This verse gave me great revelation of the problem and great hope for the solution!

The Lord has told me, repeatedly, that some of the battles I am in now are going to be finished works (more on that later), so I look forward to entering in...

80s FLASHBACK

The year was 1985 and I looked the part, fluorescent clothes (even make-up), uniquely 80s layered hair, ultra-teased with tons of Aquanet hairspray, thick belts, matching socks, earrings in every color and O-rings (remember Madonna wore them?). I probably would have never attempted some of what I did had I not been in the best company I had ever been in my whole life.

8th grade prom 1985 - me in the blue dress

The previous year I had come out of a school that was, by today’s standards, abusive to put it mildly and getting no better as I got older. After begging my mom to send me to another school and seeing she was not going to budge, I played the only card I had not played – I want to go live with my father! It was March I think and I was on a plane to Atlanta and I was going to be enrolled in public school for the first time in my life. Because I was the “new” kid from Miami, I was of interest to many. I made lots of friends, fast, I had only a handful in the school I left behind, despite my best efforts to “fit in”. After completing 7th grade I was on my way to high school, that is how it worked in the school district my dad lived in. My mother wanted me to come home and I said I would not go back to “that school”, so she agreed to let me attend another private school started by my first grade teacher.

Just for some background, I was terrified of school, I cried everyday, even some in college. In first grade I had Mrs. Santos, so it was better and my best friend Tina was in my class too. We were teacher’s pets, so we had no other friends, but that was okay because we had each other. Anyway, Mrs. Santos was the most loving woman I had ever met and I enjoyed being around and her and felt somewhat normal and safe in her presence.

Fast forward, it’s now 1984 and I am on my way to Mrs. Santos' school. She is the founder, principal and the 8th grade teacher. Now in my mind it just didn’t get any better than this, except that our 8th grade class was 20 strong and we were ALL friends. It was the best year of schooling for me and probably the happiest I ever was. Again, I felt loved and safe everyday! The school only went to 8th grade that meant graduation was inevitable. I was valedictorian for our class and had my speech prepared, but I cried the whole time, so Mrs. Santos read it. Everyone cried, and I mean cried a lot! We were like family and we were all going to different schools, I was actually moving about a half hour away. It was not a happy day!

Since 1985 I have kept in touch with Mrs. Santos yearly. Christmas cards, letters, visits and birth announcements. Our relationship has changed over the years as it should now that I am an adult. I have had two opportunities to see her this year. In February I took my kids to the school and showed them around and they got to meet her and her husband. It was a wonderful time. Then she said, that they would be having a tribute to my class this year at graduation and prom because it was the 25th anniversary of our graduation and we were the first graduating class. I was so excited. I began to feel the Lord’s gentle nudging that this was Him working.

Mrs. Santos invited me to give my speech from '85 at graduation and I was excited to have the opportunity, but even more excited when she gave me her blessing to say “whatever you want”. The Lord’s hand was moving. In prayer He lead me to verses of encouragement for the graduates. I asked her if she wanted me to tell her what I was going to say and she said she did not need to see it ahead of time.

I had the awesome opportunity to meet her, her family and the 8th grade graduates for a weekend of fun at Busch Gardens and Adventure Island just before graduation.

I was able to get in touch with a few friends from my graduating class and they were going to be at graduation too. It was thrilling! I had Isabella and Annais with me, which made it extra special.

On the drive down, I listened to Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and it solidified a lot of what I heard the Lord speaking to my heart. My kids and I had prayer time the day before and asked the Lord to prepare hearts for what He had to say.

Tuesday morning before graduation as I got ready the Lord spoke to me and said, “You were valedictorian 25 years ago because I have something to say to these people TODAY.” Wow, knock me over! This made it all the more exciting because my purpose was sure.

When Mrs. Santos introduced me she said that she was not giving a speech that day, that I was giving the principal’s address. Did you catch that? A high-school dropout with some college, the principal’s address? This is how God works. He instantly put me in position of authority and although most people there didn’t know me, I now had their attention. They would HEAR His word. She also said that I was here to give them a message of HOPE. Remember she did not know what I was going to say. So, for the first time I gave my speech, at least parts of it. I also shared the verses the Lord gave me and I told them that He loved them. That He died for them, individually and He has a purpose and a plan, a good one, for each of them. I told them 25 years ago I needed a family and the Lord sets the lonely in families and the Lord had brought me to that school. I told them how He rescued me out of deep waters because He delighted in me and how He delights in them. I told them their lives were before them and mine was still before me - in Him. I also shared with them what the Lord had spoken to my heart that morning, that HE had a message for them. I only spoke 8-10 minutes, but as I took my seat I was humbled by the opportunity the Lord gave me to share with people that I love. Best of all my oldest two were a part of all this and watched God work.

I went out to lunch with my two best friends from 8th grade and they both told me they were proud of me, even one of their husbands told me. I just smiled because I knew it was the Lord. They had nothing to be proud of me for. They don’t know what kind of house I live in, car I drive or much else about me for that matter, but they said they were proud. That just doesn’t “happen”. The world only tells us they are proud of us when we produce evidence that we are worthy of their praise. The only thing I shared with them was His love and now that - that is something to be PROUD of!


Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's - Psalm 103:4-5

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Eph 3:20

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

SPEECHLESS!

Isn't it amazing how God speaks to us in the just the right way, at just the right time? I'm left speechless after reading My Lesson from Job tonight because it spoke so tenderly to my heart:

It begins...

Today I randomly decided to read some things I highlighted in the book of Job. I found myself reading from chapter 32 all the way to the end of the book! Things really started making sense to me like they hadn't before. It really fit in with some of the things I've been learning lately about trusting God and His Holiness....

read full post here, you will be blessed!

POTTER'S WHEEL - TSMSS

For Mother's Day my request was simple I wanted to attend two worship services. This song was played during the first worship service. They played a video similar to the one in this post (maybe even the same one). Isn't it amazing when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you ARE where you ARE supposed to be?

God is shaping me, molding me into who He wants me to be and although it's painful at times I am willing (sometimes kicking and screaming) to withstand the discomfort to rid myself of the things that remain that are not of Him. I want to see, I want others to see, I want Him to see His reflection.

Worship was very powerful for me that morning and the message even more so, you can listen to it here. It is listed as the Mother's Day sermon, but it was on TRUST. A couple of years ago I realized that I did not trust God and we worked through that or so I thought, now there seems to be a whole new layer to it. I haven't trusted Him in a long time, I have accused Him and I have doubted His intentions. I have no reason not to trust Him other than I attach disappointments I've experienced to Him. Disappointments with my dad, my husband, church, etc. I wrap it all up together, but it doesn't fit in a neat little package because God cannot fit in a box with humanity.

Let me just state for the record that God has NEVER let me down! He has always done exceedingly abundantly more than I could ask, think or imagine, ALWAYS! He is faithful because that is who He is, He cannot deny Himself or His Word. I on the other hand fall short. I start looking around at people, places and things for comfort and reprieve and when it doesn't come I doubt that God loves me, that He cares about me or that He will do anything about the situation. I was so convicted during worship about my attitudes towards God, it was humbling and sad at the same time.

I have let fear override my faith and get me into a dangerous place with the Lord. Sunday it was as if a light bulb went on. You always hear people talk about peeling back the layers of an onion and I was reminded of this on Sunday. This is another layer of my walk with Him, He is taking me deeper, but He must remove another layer...He must! So, I surrender and I sing:

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be and more

So place me on the potter’s wheel
Spin me until
There’s nothing left but You in my life
Cause brokenness is what I want
So do a work Yeah in my heart
So when You look at me
You see Your reflection


Song by Daniel Bashta

Be blessed and be changed!

Joining Amy for Then Sings my Soul Saturday.

FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY - WORSHIP!

For a long time I knew worship would be part of Judah's first birthday party and the first person that came to mind was Bo! He leads worship at a church plant from our previous church and there is a sweetness and reverance when he is leading worship. I sense the Lord's presence and love in a mighty and tangible way as he leads worship and ushers people to the throne room. I am so grateful that him and his family were able to share this day with us.

Bo said he wanted to sing a song over Judah; it was a song he wrote for the children's ministry based on Jeremiah 29:11 and part of went like this:

Give you hope, bring you peace, give you joy

It was a blessing to hear that spoken out loud, not only over Judah, but all of His children! That is His plan for ALL of us!

It was precious to see Judah worship the Lord as Bo led worship! Starting with a little hand clapping. Getting those arms ready! Lift off - full blown worship. When our pastor shared the meaning of Judah's name he actually lifted his hands much like this to show that this is what Judah's name means - hands extended upward worshipping the Father. Beautiful!

More worship clips:

Hosanna

Oh, Praise Him

GOD'S LOVE

Have you ever bought something for someone because the Lord prompted you to do so? You didn’t know why they would need that mug, plaque, book, etc., but He did. Have you ever been overwhelmed by His love for someone when giving them something that you knew He wanted you to give them? It’s amazing isn’t it?

Have you prayed that prayer, the one that goes something like, “Lord give me your heart for others, let me see them like you see them.” He has answered me time and time again, supernaturally enabling me to share His love with someone else. I think I missed it a lot of the time not realizing He was answering in a particular way and I guess I assume all of sudden I will feel like He feels and see what He sees, but I don’t. Usually I will be burdened with His great love for someone else and in those moments, it never dawned on me that this is His expression of love for this person and He feels the same way about me. Pretty amazing!

You know the flowers your friend brings to your house, the card with just the right scripture in it or the hot chocolate left on your doorstep on a cold, winter’s day by a friend who knew you had none. That is how He loves us - through one another. If we are not expressing His love to others, to the world, who is?

CONTEMPLATING

Many of you know that I run a tea business and it is a blessing and I love every minute of it. Although I must say recently it has been getting harder and harder to keep up with the business due to other demands - homeschooling, having an infant and life happening. It was almost two years ago to the date that this happened:

A local tea shop in announced it was closing and I was devastated. A few days later the Lord began to speak to me and give me what appeared to be a business plan for an internet based tea store. I spoke to the owner the next day and here I am!

Because of things the Lord led me to do a couple of years prior I was positioned to make this transition fairly smoothly complete with access to wonderful free resources at the local college including an attorney and business coach.

Last night as I packed tea and listened to my children play in the den I could not help but wonder will I regret missing this time with them.

The business has never been a burden on us financially, but it also has not added a penny to our household income. Every month it has produced enough to pay its own bills and the loan we took out to purchase it. I do have a significant balance on a credit card that I hope to have paid off soon. I do not want money to be a deciding factor for me.

My dilemma:

I love tea and I love the tea business. I love the people I have met and the opportunities it has afforded me, but I love my family more.

The bigger dilemma:

I do not feel released to give it up. More than anything I want to be obedient, so I must trust God’s timiring as I did two years ago when He called me to this. Everyone asked me repeatedly how I was going to do this and I continually replied I don’t know, but God does. He has been faithful and He is STILL DOING IT.

God’s faithfulness has been interwoven in every aspect of this business and contiues to be. I want Him to be glorified in this and I want to represent Him to the best of my ability, which I feel is lacking in every area of my life right now.

He called me to be a wife, mother, homeschooler and business owner in that order and I do not want to get that confused.

When you think of me please pray and if you have been in this situation and God spoke to you, please share. Any scripture for encouragement or words of Godly wisdom are welcome.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. HEBREWS 13:20-21

TRUST

Tonight we were about to make an impromptu run to the Dollar Store to snag a blow up pool for a $1. When I tried to start the van it would not start, so my husband charged the battery while Isabella and I waited in the car. She was obviously afraid, so I began asking her questions. She was afraid to be in the car while he was charging it because she was afraid it would roll down the hill, so I explained to her that the "park" feature still worked. Then she began crying as we backed down the driveway because if we got stuck at the store "Daddy would leave the little ones alone while he came to get us" and I assured her that would not happen. Daddy would not leave the little ones at home, he would bring them with him or someone there would help start our van. I said we need to trust God Isabella...I knew this was a "teachable" moment. It was important she go with me and face her fear and trust her Father.

Isn't it interesting how irrational her fears were, but aren't all fears irrational? Fear is not based on Truth.

Ever seen the acrostic FEAR? False Evidence Appearing Real

As we left the parking lot I explained to her that we can always trust God. I told her I was glad she trusted me and the words that escaped her lips left me speechless, "Me too, if not my life would be a disaster." Wow! That was a loaded statement.

Remember my struggle with retreating to old seasons? Well, here is my revelation. Plain and simple it is FEAR. A spirit of fear that the bible tells me DID NOT come from my Father. I am struggling with trusting Him right now and my life some days is a "disaster" - I am going to remember what Isabella said. So much wisdom for such a little girl. A girl who knows her Father and trusts Him and believes He is a good Daddy. On days like today I learn much more from my kids than they learn from me.

Trusting our parents is important, but trusting God it is VITAL!

TSMSS - EVERY SEASON

I have always loved this song by Nicole Nordeman, but it takes on an even greater significance in light of my recent revelations about seasons - here, here and here. This song ministers to the deep recesses of my heart in this “season”.

Read the lyrics (below all at once or follow in the video), they are powerful!

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You
In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

The Lord is so gracious to be gently leading me on this journey of discovery to expose the lies and bring me to His truth and closer to Him and His will for my life.



For more Then Sings My Soul Saturday visit Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders

A FATHER'S DAY TO REMEMBER

Father’s day this year was awesome! We made the journey to church and had planned to spend the day at the river afterwards. Little did we know service would last four hours. Usually when service is long we head out about 1:00 p.m. or when the kids get fidgety. Well, they didn’t and we didn’t. It was so awesome we just could not leave. Our church services are not traditional by any means and Father’s Day was no different! The service has an open mic format according to Colossians 3:16 - Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. The service quickly develops a “flow” of the Spirit.

There is a section up front called the earnest section where anyone who wants to be saved can go up anytime during the service and the service will stop and they will receive prayer, it is also for anyone that is struggling with something and needs to repent or needs prayer. There were several people in the earnest section on Father’s day. It was a precious time of healing, I think for everyone. For me it was healing to hear a daughter repent to her father, her father forgive her and him pray for her. When the daughter got up and spoke some of her words about herself were derogatory, so her father disallowed her vow (Numbers 30:6-8). Now the enemy has no right to use those words against her and the Lord will forgive her…the beauty of Truth.

There is also a section up front for the open mic where people get up and share just like Colossians 3:16 says. I am so encouraged in my faith when I hear how others have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony.

The pastor also had everyone share “popcorn” testimonies. He had someone walk around with a microphone and people gave brief declarations of the Lord’s doings…people had been healed of many sicknesses and diseases, restored marriages, broken hearts healed...it lasted about 15 minutes.

It was a precious day with a lot of wonderful reminders of who our Heavenly Father is and what He has called men to be as daddies. A wonderful reminder of His great love for us and what WAS accomplished on the cross because of LOVE.

We did go to the river after our lunch in town and had a wonderful time. It was almost as much fun as last Father’s Day adventure. The river was low, but that did not stop us from cruising down the river using our bodies with children on our laps causing us to bump every rock in sight…there were a lot of ooooohs and ouches, but it was a blast. We all had a memorable day.

EASTER SUNDAY PICTURES & PRAISE

Easter Sunday we went to church and a wonderful lady, Ellen, who ALWAYS has her camera in her hand took pictures of me, Judah and Isabella. No one else was interested in getting their picture taken.

As Ellen was taking this shoulder shot of Judah (he actually had his hands in the air - praising the Lord as his name implies) I was speaking to a lady about moving to the area. Church on Sunday is a day trip for us and we would LOVE to live closer. This lady and her husband live in an RV and travel around and always come back to the church to help out. She told me she was there last year helping out and we got to talking and she asked me if my daughter was Isabella. I said yes and she proceeded to tell me how Isabella had blessed her and ministered to her during a very rough time. I had tears in my eyes as she recounted Isabella's sweetness. She said at one point Isabella even hugged her and it really lifted her spirits. Her words were music to my ears. I have taught Isabella the word since she was born and I am seeing the fruit of that now. I still need to instruct her more in the word, but she does know it and it is hidden in her heart - Praise God! It is nice to hear your kids are cute, but when someone tells you that your child ministered to them...GLORY!

Sweet Isabella kissing Judah!
I think it looks like she is looking thankfully at the Father for her little brother
Sweet baby!
Mama and Judah

SOMETHING RESTORED

Before reading this post read SOMETHING STOLEN, PART 1

God is a God of restoration; we see that all throughout scripture - sometimes restoring double or even more. He restored positions, lives and vision. I do not believe there is ANYTHING that He cannot restore.

One day while sitting at a red light, I was reading an affirmation I had posted near my speedometer and one of the lines was, “I am as innocent as a newborn baby”. Then I had a vision of the Lord sitting on His throne handing me my innocence, RESTORING it. I knew that “innocence lost” was a thing of my past. Praise and all Glory to God!

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Psalm 23:3

WHATEVER the enemy has stolen from you, the Lord wants to and will RESTORE it. His timing is perfect. Submit to Him, ask Him and agree with HIM.

Take the time to listen to this song and let it settle into your spirit…



THIS IS FROM A PREVIOUS POST

REPLEVIN

re•plev•in
1. an action for the recovery of goods or chattels wrongfully taken or detained.

It is time to take back from the enemy what he has stolen from us. We do not take it back because we lack, but because it is ours.

This video is a great portrayal of taking it ALL back!

What has he stolen from you? Your husband, your health, your children, your joy? Whatever it is, it belongs to you? Go get it!

NOW GET ON YOUR DANCING SHOES AND SAY, “I WANT IT ALL BACK”

FAMILY UNPLANNING

It was 1999 and Todd and I were at dinner with several people from church. There was a couple there I had never met, but had known Todd since he was a child. They addressed me with the question, “How many children are you planning on having?” This is what I said…

“We will have as many children as we can afford to have.”

The couple was very impressed with my answer and it seemed to go over well with everyone else at the table, including Todd’s parents. So, it convinced me it was a “right and good” answer.

Well, that was ten years and four children ago and I would have to say that was one of my MOST “faithless” comments. At the time I had just become a Christian and had no idea what it meant to fully submit to His Lordship (and am still learning and growing) and it would be several years before I understood it in the area of children. If I had not sought after the Lord in desperate need of His wisdom, love and grace, I may have not experienced the joy, freedom and healing that has come from each pregnancy and birth experience.

1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved (click here for an explanation of the fullness of "saved" in this context) in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

To say “we will have as many as we can afford” showed my lack of faith, relationship and trust in God and also my self-reliance. Since that time Todd and I have embraced the gift and blessings that our children are and know that for us, now, the only answer to the question, “Are you done having children?” is “We do not know.”

My pregnancies and post-partum periods have not been a bed of roses, so I do not say this casually because it has all been easy. I was riddled with fear my first pregnancy, which only increased with delivery by emergency c-section followed by severe post-partum depression. Click here to read an article "How Fear Affects the Body" My second pregnancy I had heart palpitations and Annais was born with kidney reflux. After his birth I met God as my healer and began to understand the provisions already made for my healing. My pregnancy with Kaira was wonderful and this pregnancy with Judah at age 37 (will be 38 a few weeks after his birth) has been the most incredible experience of my life. I have not had one cold, virus or infection this whole pregnancy. This is the first time in my WHOLE life that I have gone this many months without being sick, praise God!

So, for those who so comically ask us, “Do you know where babies come from?” The answer is ABSOLUTELY, and we look forward to as many blessings He wants to give us. God says, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee…” My pregnancies may surprise some, but they are no surprise to the one who birthed my children first in His heart.

In Proverbs 16:9 it says “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps” and was that was so true for me, but the problem was my heart was not right, so I devised my plans from a place of pain and bondage. My heart was broken and wounded and only after allowing the Lord to heal my heart could I agree with His plans for our family.

TO WORSHIP YOU JESUS

This weekend I have the opportunity to escape the daily hustle and bustle of my life and sit at the feet of Jesus. There will be time to spend and soak in His Word, worship without time restraints, listen without interruption and pray without ceasing. It has long been my desire to get away with Him and bask in His presence. Although He has been faithful to provide these times for me in the midst of my everyday life, I am looking forward to intentional, uninterrupted time with Him.

My intention and expectation this weekend is to PRAISE HIM! I heard this song Sunday at church and it made my spirit soar. It truly is the cry of my heart! I will leave you with this…

Lord of Lords by Hillsong

Come back Sunday for a big and exciting announcement!

Beholding Your beauty Is all that I long for
To worship You Jesus Is my sole desire
For this very heart You have shaped for Your pleasure
Purposed to lift Your Name higher

Here in surrender
In pure adoration
I enter Your courts With an offering of praise
I am Your servant Come to bring You glory
As is fit for the work of Your hands

[Chorus 1:]Now unto the Lamb
Who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise Him
The Lord of lords

Spirit now living
And dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed
Ever on Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world
Ever sway me I'll run 'til I finish the race

[Chorus 2:]Now unto the Lamb
Who sits on the throne
Be glory and honour and praise
All of eternity echoes the song
Worship and praise Him
The Lord of lords

Holy Lord
You are holy
Jesus Christ Is the Lord

REVIVAL

Somewhere between here and here something happened. What? A deep and confident TRUST in God. My issues with trusting Him have been settled and my spirit has soared. He has not changed, He has always been trustworthy...something has changed in me.

Thank you for the calls, emails and prayers since my last post. Due to the response I am sensing I did not convey the Hope I was experiencing at the time in the midst of the situation. The circumstances are what they are, but God is SO much bigger! He has shown Himself strong.

There really is no way to describe what has been happening except to say “REVIVAL”. I have not been under a tent, gone to nightly meetings or even visited Lakeland, but I can tell you without a doubt I am experiencing REVIVAL. God has poured out His Spirit on me and I am changed. So, if the situation sounded hopeless, I apologize – I know (intimately) the source of my Hope. I do not want my inability to articulate the goodness and faithfulness of God to minimize it in any way.

The first definition of REVIVAL on dictionary.com is: restoration to life, consciousness, vigor, strength, etc. So, I would say "Yes, it is definitely REVIVAL!"

THE DNA OF A CATERPILLAR

God created us to be someone – something! We have purpose! The days of our lives were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them (Psalm 139:16 – Amplified). We try so hard to be what we think God wants us to be, but the truth is He already sees us as that person.

Did you know that the DNA of a caterpillar is the same as the DNA of a butterfly? Did you get that? If a scientist took the DNA of a caterpillar it would be the same as that of a butterfly. Our creator did that. Pretty amazing, huh? Same with us – He already sees us as butterflies – in fact He made us that way.

Do not misunderstand, I know we all have growing and changing to do. This post is meant as an encouragement to rest and find peace in knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us with an everlasting love just the way we are, so much so that He will not leave us this way.

These are some of the things God says about us - WE ALREADY ARE:

His Children, branches of the True Vine, friends, new creations, heirs with Christ, saints, temples of the Holy Spirit, His workmanship, partakers of His promise, citizens of heaven, overcomers

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 cor 3:18

We are REFLECTORS OF HIS GLORY!

If God has all these wonderful things to say about us, why are we so quick to believe what others say? We need to start agreeing with God instead of everyone else.

...Let God be true, and every man a liar. Romans 3:4

THIS POST IS IN HONOR AND MEMORY OF CO-PASTOR LATONJA JOHNSON WHO MADE SURE EVERYONE AROUND HER KNEW WHO AND WHOSE THEY WERE!

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THIS VERY THING

A few weeks ago on a Sunday morning before church I took a cup of tea and sat in the screened porch. "So what?" you may be thinking, that is not a big deal. For a Martha that is a huge deal and you Martha's out there know what I am talking about.

Sunday mornings my husband is home, so in the few hours before church I can get a lot done while he is keeping an eye on the kids. It is typically not a day of rest for me. For whatever reason that Sunday I chose what was "better" and sat in the quiet of the morning and was still. Sitting at the table I saw an eagle soar through the sky into my neighbors pine trees. The first thing that came to mind was Psalm 103:5, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Immediately I was expectant.

We got ready for church, piled in the car and took our position on the front row. Worship began and immediately I knew God was doing something. It was one of the mornings where His Spirit was thick in the room, I could feel Him all around. Everyone felt Him all around as people openly began praising Him and worshiping Him. It was one of those "moments", those "moments" you really cannot describe, but anyone who has experienced it knows exactly what I mean. I began to sob, a deep, deep sob that seemed to penetrate right to my core. I needed it. I had been burdened all week.

This is going to get really personal, so if that freaks you out stop reading NOW.

My husband and I have had a rough marriage since the beginning, we have struggled with a lot of things. Recently we both realized one of the biggest problems in our marriage is ungodly order. I think we both always knew that, but did not have a clue how to change it. We went before the Lord and repented for our roles in that. I was excited until I had to walk it out by faith.

Releasing my husband to be the head of our household meant that I had to give up a lot of my roles, responsibilities and requirements. I had to give up control. Scary does not begin to describe the emotion that I was feeling. Sheer terror and panic was more like it and that in itself is what kept the ungodly order in place. I was so afraid that if I did not take care of things everything would fall apart, so I took care of everything and that was easy for the Martha in me, but the Mary in me was dying spiritually because there was no time to spend with my Daddy, no time to crawl up in His lap and say, "hold me I am scared, lonely, exhausted." There was no time for anything, especially anything fun.

The burden I had been carrying all of that week was due to my first encounter of actually having to release my husband to lead. In my opinion he was making bad choices, choices he had made in the past that led us both down some pretty rough roads. I sensed the enemy was setting up circumstances for a repeat performance and he could not see it. So, in my new position I had to trust. Trust my husband, no? Trust God! I realized I did not trust God, the fear overcame me and the thought of having to submit to my husband freaked me out. I was a wreck. I could not trust God to protect me in spite of his bad decisions. What do you do with that? I had no clue. It also made me realize being a perfectionist comes down to not trusting God. I do not trust Him with anything, so I take things upon myself and try to make them right or perfect, never achieving, but continually striving - kind of like a hamster on a wheel. No wonder I am always worn out.

Anyway, our pastor started his sermon that morning with this:

When you bump up against something that is Holy, you have two choices:

1. You can die or
2. You can be changed

I had just encountered a Holy God in worship and although I may have felt like I might die, my heart really wanted to be changed. I wanted to be free from perfectionism and not trusting God or anyone. It hurt too much. It had already caused too much grief and destruction. I had been living in a constant state of fear and anxiety.

I made it through the sermon with only a few more tears, then worship began again and so did the sobbing, but this time it was accompanied by a physical pain in the pit of my belly and uncontrolled audible sobs. I was very conscious of what was happening, but determined not to stifle what God wanted to do, so I gave in and it continued. I went to one of our pastors and asked him to pray for me because:

1. I just realized I do not trust God or maybe anybody for that matter
2. The perfectionism that had taken over since we bought the business was too much to bear

He prayed with me and as he prayed I sobbed louder and the pain got worse. I ended up on the floor because the pain and pressure were so great. I again determined to stay there until the Lord was finished. (As I am typing this I realize that required trust - Praise God). I trusted God enough to let Him do whatever He was doing in me and wait for Him to finish. I was there a long time, about half an hour. I just let it go. I think I let a lot of things go that Sunday, a lot of pain and a lot of grief. When I stood up I felt weak, but better somehow.

There is a Mary in here that wants to take her place, but Martha has got to move aside. I cannot do that myself, so I am TRUSTING Him to complete the good work He has begun in me.

Being confident of THIS VERY THING, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ Phil 1:6

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD?

The diagram above is laminin, the cell adhesion molecule. Watch the video below where Lou Giglio explains laminin as explained to him. Laminin is referred to as "the glue of the human body."

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Colossions 1:17-20

I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS

We will be leaving shortly, but I wanted to leave you with this beautiful song of freedom and grace.

Some of the lyrics from Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin, the video is the whole song.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

DIVINE APPOINTMENT

Remember the divine appointment I was expecting, well it happened the very next day. God is so faithful! Everytime He has given me an opportunity to minister His love, grace and goodness He fills me full to overflowing as He did on Wednesday. I do not have to do it in my own strength. He overwhelms me to the point of tears and then gives me opportunity to pour it out. I am in awe of His faithfulness and careful planning.

To my divine appointment if you are reading this:

Our meeting yesterday was prepared in advance by the lover of your soul. He knew just what you needed and was delighted to give it to you. I hope we have many more encounters with each other and the King of Kings as we did on Thursday. He knows every need and will meet them out of His glorious riches. Seek Him with your whole heart and you will find Him. You have seen only a glimpse of what He truly longs to do. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Cor 2:9

Bless you my sweet sister!