Monday, October 12, 2009

CONTEMPLATING

Many of you know that I run a tea business and it is a blessing and I love every minute of it. Although I must say recently it has been getting harder and harder to keep up with the business due to other demands - homeschooling, having an infant and life happening. It was almost two years ago to the date that this happened:

A local tea shop in announced it was closing and I was devastated. A few days later the Lord began to speak to me and give me what appeared to be a business plan for an internet based tea store. I spoke to the owner the next day and here I am!

Because of things the Lord led me to do a couple of years prior I was positioned to make this transition fairly smoothly complete with access to wonderful free resources at the local college including an attorney and business coach.

Last night as I packed tea and listened to my children play in the den I could not help but wonder will I regret missing this time with them.

The business has never been a burden on us financially, but it also has not added a penny to our household income. Every month it has produced enough to pay its own bills and the loan we took out to purchase it. I do have a significant balance on a credit card that I hope to have paid off soon. I do not want money to be a deciding factor for me.

My dilemma:

I love tea and I love the tea business. I love the people I have met and the opportunities it has afforded me, but I love my family more.

The bigger dilemma:

I do not feel released to give it up. More than anything I want to be obedient, so I must trust God’s timiring as I did two years ago when He called me to this. Everyone asked me repeatedly how I was going to do this and I continually replied I don’t know, but God does. He has been faithful and He is STILL DOING IT.

God’s faithfulness has been interwoven in every aspect of this business and contiues to be. I want Him to be glorified in this and I want to represent Him to the best of my ability, which I feel is lacking in every area of my life right now.

He called me to be a wife, mother, homeschooler and business owner in that order and I do not want to get that confused.

When you think of me please pray and if you have been in this situation and God spoke to you, please share. Any scripture for encouragement or words of Godly wisdom are welcome.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. HEBREWS 13:20-21

4 comments:

Mari said...

Mari,
I don't have any quick answers for you, but I do think that if and when the time comes to give it up, you will have a clear feeling of release. I can understand the difficulty of doing this work though, with everything else you have gong on and I will be praying for you.

Burt Designs Photography said...

Hey Mari, I'll be praying for you. My heart is burdened as well for my business. I'm just not sure of the direct God has for it. I'll be praying that He gives you a clear direction and peace in the decision that you make. :)

Mama D said...

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find [me], when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Jer 29:11-13
Was in a similar position with my Mary Kay business. I needed balance. My natural personality was all or nothing.
The Lord showed me I was trying to "work it all out." When I shifted "search for me with all your heart", I was better able to see where He was and where He wasn't in my choices. Some of my choices were fear-based. "If I don't do this.... then...."
Perfect love casts out fear so I return again to searching (pursuing) Him with all my heart.
You have such a heart for seeing Him in the smallest things. I am sure as you pursue Him, He will lead you.
I am so proud of you. You are such a treasure.
Diane

Stacey said...

I'll be praying for God to guide you through this!

"And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left."Isaiah 30:21

"For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death."Psalm 48:14

"I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." Psalm 32:8

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