HER NAME IS LOLA!

Lola is the gray bunny on the left and Coco is the tan one on the right. They are mini-rexes. A few months ago it became evident to me that a pet would be a great benefit for my kids. I began praying.

While out to lunch with a friend she mentioned that they were looking for a home for their dog. We arranged a meeting between said dog and my children (without their knowledge of the possibility that we might keep him). They fell in love and my heart leaped when I saw their eyes light up and their countenance change. We visited with said dog a couple of times, but it became evident it just wasn't a good fit. He was a puppy, a large puppy and we have a small house with no fenced yard. My prayer specifically was for a dog, not a puppy!

We began talking about a bunny and my oldest two got to work saving for a bunny. I got an email about a rabbit cage and pen for sale, so I bought them. My kids did a wonderful job saving and planning for a bunny. We went to our old neighbor's house, a rabbit breeder and picked out not one, but two bunnies. I just couldn't resist and my littlest two needed a pet too. We brought the bunnies home and fell in love. They are amazing. Lola, my bunny acts more like a dog than a rabbit. They are sweet and were immediately litter box trained. We keep them in their pen, with the cage inside on the screened porch (I'll include a picture of that one day when it's clean). For more on rabbits as pets, check out Georgia House Rabbit Society.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, but totally in God's bigger picture plan, we got our beloved little dog, Maggie back. We purchased Maggie, a long-haired, dachshund in the fall of 2010, but I never got the chance to post about her. In March of 2011 the kids and I moved to a new, small town with Maggie. I was a single mom, with four kids eight and under and very unsure of our circumstances and future. So, I sent Maggie back to live with my ex. He has had her since then. Recently circumstances changed and it was a good time for us to get Maggie back, so we did. In a month and a half we went from zero pets to three.

Maggie is settling in nicely. Everyone is so happy! I have realized the decision for me to not have Maggie for a while was a really loving thing to do for myself and allowed me to focus on the most important things, my children, at the time. I do not regret it or feel guilty. I am actually grateful that at a time when I could have really been cruel to myself I chose to love myself. It is a good example for my children. God is so rich in His mercy, He has restored to us what was lost and continues to do so. We are all at a much better place to love and care for Maggie.

 

 

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

This song is a great reminder of God's love for us (for you), His beloved children:
Still hoping in Him,

FREEDOM

It has been exactly one year since my last post. Today seemed like the perfect day for an update. A LOT can happen in a year! (more on that in another post)

Just over a year ago I had a revelation about FREEDOM that changed my life.

From my journal:

April 17, 2012

My thinking up until recently had been that I would have the victory or freedom when "all was said and done" or when I could say, "this is what God did, Praise the Lord!", but today as I walked around the neighborhood feeling much like a daughter feeling full and confident, it dawned on me - THIS is the victory, the FREEDOM - NOT caring what the outcome is but, basking, growing and celebrating the journey. The victory is I AM a daughter with a Daddy that loves her and no verdict or outcome can change that. I have the freedom to face ALL that lies before me without fear. So, even with no idea what the outcome is in any given situation, but SURE that the journey is making me more of the woman He created me to be.

Liberty in Strong's Concordance is 1657 freedom from 1658 which is unrestrained, not a slave, exempt from obligation or liability.

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: Romans 8:15-16

Liability is something that works to one's disadvantage. FEAR was my liability. Only in coming out of bondage to FEAR and receiving the Spirit of adoption could I cry "Abba, Father" and BE a daughter. I love being a daughter!

FREEDOM from Webster's dictionary is the state or quality of being free exemption or liberation from the control of some other person or some arbitrary power. I do not want to be controlled by some arbitrary power (For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12)

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Galations 5:5

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the word, this man shall be blessed in his deed. James 1:25

I'M BACK!

As I sat down to type this a friend from church called to ask me for a favor. During our conversation the Lord reminded her of something I said months ago and she wanted to speak TRUTH to me. She basically told me exactly what is typed above. What great confirmation from my Abba (Daddy).

FREE,

PEACE

Early on when my husband left I was so concerned about the children, looking back – overly concerned. I had several people tell me they could see the peace in my children and I was sure they were “just saying that.” I remember thinking, “How could they have peace?” The bible says, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” James 3:16 There was almost an immediate sense of peace when the strife was gone, but I still didn't believe it for my kids. I was interjecting and confusing my struggles as a child of divorce and was afraid for them (which meant I was NOT trusting God). It is a blessing for me as I realize that as I diligently seek the Lord I am overcoming and so are they, because of HIM they do not have to live out my generational iniquities.

As I was reading the bible the other day I read this again in Isaiah 54 verse 13, “And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.” I immediately thanked God for giving me confirmation about my children's peace. He is teaching them and GREAT is their peace. I had to hear it from Him before I would believe it, which is the way it I should be in every area of my life.

Who or what are you believing?

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE

The day we came to look at the house we are living in now I told the kids that we needed to pray and ask the Lord for clear direction. I told them that if the Lord gave them a verse or anything to tell me. About ten minutes down the road I hear from the backseat, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord whether that is in the old house or the new house." Alrighty then!

The day we moved in I saw there was a framed print in one of the rooms "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord" Such great confirmation.

John Waller has a song called As For Me and My House and it is awesome. You can download it for free here by making a declaration that you are serving the Lord in your household.

In the song it says:

Idols raised, tear them down

For me it was a startling revelation that my husband had become an idol to me. During the Beth Moore Breaking Free study, she gives a testimony about her son-in-law. He puts his son to bed everynight and says something like "I'm proud to be your dad, I think you have what it takes to be a great man and I love you" and everynight the toddler looks up and says, "I want juice." The Lord used that story to show me how He has told me, "Mari I'm proud to be your dad, I think you have what it takes to be a great woman and I love you" and I would look up at Him and say, "I want Todd." I rejected God's love seeking the love of a man. Oh, that was a humbling revelation. I repented for idolatry and am now seeking the Lord in ALL areas of my life.

What or who are your idols? Are you ready to tear them down? Whose kingdom are you building?

THE TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT

photo credit

Three months ago after clear confirmation from the Lord I moved my children and myself to a new town. My husband had left home almost two months prior and we needed a smaller home with more support nearby. We are in a wonderful place of peace, support and love, but I’m still struggling. How is that possible you ask? Yea, I ask too? With little signs of change in me I wondered, “What am I doing here?” All this love around me and I feel unchanged! Well, that was until we made lemon bars.

It was a Saturday afternoon and my oldest daughter and I were making lemon bars from a boxed mix and seemingly out of the blue she said, “You are getting so excited about things mommy. As God is helping us and people are supporting us you are getting more and more excited.” I stopped for a moment and pondered her words. She was RIGHT! I am getting excited about things, again. It’s been a long time. After thinking about it for awhile, I said to her, “As I stop agreeing with the enemy about who I am mommy is becoming the woman God created me to be from the beginning of time.” That’s EXCITING!

Even in this the enemy had the blinders on me, so I could not see that indeed I was changing (being set free). He would love for me to think that I’m going to remain the same, regardless and eventually would love for me to give up and accuse God. But God, out of the mouths of babes…stilled the enemy and avenger (once again). (Psalm 8:2)

As I am seeking God with my whole heart, He is leading me into ALL TRUTH!

The next day at church the whole service was a time of sharing what God is doing in your heart and my daughter and I were able to share this. She even spoke in the microphone through tears and told everyone what she had told me and I talked about what God showed me through that. It was a precious experience! I also shared that I don't even know who that woman is yet, I'm just at the beginning of this revelation, but am excited to learn more and more!

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

GODLY PERSPECTIVE

Photo credit

This morning I walked into church with a lady and I asked her how she was doing. She said, “I’m learning what it means to take care of myself.” I said, “Me too!” I told her that yesterday I went into Pine Mountain and had tea with friends and spent the whole day there and had a wonderful time of fellowship (practicing taking care of myself with time off).

As I sat down in church something was bubbling up inside of me and I said to another friend that “I was so excited I could scream.”

Midway through the service all these pieces came together in my head and gave me a beautiful revelation. The Lord showed me the reason I have trouble “taking care of myself” is because I don’t value you myself or see myself as beautiful, the way He sees me. He brought to mind the rusted enamel basin and pot I bought yesterday at an antique store. I saw them sitting outside and immediately I saw them as beautiful planters (they had value to me). That’s how He sees me with my rust spots, I’m beautiful and have purpose and value! You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7

When I got home with my treasures I went to a friends to borrow her husband’s drill to make drainage holes in the planters. As soon as she saw them she said, “Oh, no…I don’t like those.” I said, “I love them.” Her opinion of my treasures did not change my opinion at all, the same way that the enemy’s accusation of me does not change God’s opinion of me nor should other’s opinons of me change my own.

This morning before church I planted flowers in those pots and they were even more beautiful and He showed me as He plants His word in me I become more beautiful too.

It all comes down to understanding deep in my spirit who He says I am. This is not a new revelation just with a new tangible reference point. The planters sit on my front and back porches as constant reminders of the beauty He is planting in me and that I have great purpose too!

On a side note, when I planted the flowers in the pail I knew it needed a stand and thought an old wooden highchair would be perfect. Guess what I found in the trash on the way to church? Yes, an old highchair. I knocked on the women’s door to make sure she was getting rid of it, she said I could have it. Isn’t He just the best daddy EVER?

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecc 3:11

I'M STILL STANDING

Did you ever have one of these? I did and I loved it. Last night as I tried to fall asleep and replayed the events of the last few weeks in my mind, this is the picture that popped into my head. A few weeks ago as a couple of friends were praying for me I said, "I feel I keep getting the wind knocked out of me and everytime I stand up it happens again." Isn't it great to know that we are "weighted" and do not have to stay down?

One of my favorite songs a few years ago was Still Standing by Israel Houghton. Some of the lyrics are:

You gave me courage to believe that all your goodness I will see
and if it had not been for you standing on my side where would I be

Chorus: If not for your goodness if not for your grace I don't know where I
would be today if not for your kindness I never could say I'm still
standing if not for your mercy if not for your love I most likely would
have given up if not for your favor I never could say I'm still standing
but by the grace of God

To you I lift my offering and set my heart on higher things for
if it had not been for you standing on my side where would I be

In the middle of the song he gives an exhortation and this is what he says (my favorite part of the song), read it all, it is powerful:

I feel the need to explain something
This is not I’m still standing and I barely made it and I crawled into the building
Just pray for me brother and nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen kind of standing

When I was a kid I had one of those things that you could punch it and it’d go down and it would pop right back up because it was weighted on the bottom
That would preach wouldn’t it
So, this kind of still standing is
He’s hit me with his best shot
Life has poured all it could on me
And I got to bounce back in my spirit

Enjoy the song:



Psalm 27:13, 14
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD

Over the last few weeks I have had to deal with physical and emotional pain. I can tell you that I bounced back in my spirit long before my body caught up. It was exciting and challenging at the same time. My emotions and spirit were high, but my body was in pain and weak, so I had to wait on the Lord and what a blessing that was. My strength was renewed and I will soar on wings like eagles.

Joining Amy at Signs, Miracles and Wonders

LOVE IS...

patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Even before I had a relationship with the Lord this was my very favorite bible verse. I have always loved love. What does it mean to love love? Let’s just say I believed in fairy tales, which can also be referred to as a hopeless romantic. I used to read this verse and dream of my future husband because I did not understand that this verse describes the very nature of God. At that time in my life I only knew of a God that was to be feared and if I did enough good then he might do something good for me. It was not all bad because I held out for love and when I found the kind of love mentioned above it was in an intimate relationship with the Father. He put the desire for love in my heart knowing that He was the only one who could ever fit the bill.

Anyway, recently while at my niece’s first birthday my sister-in-law commented on how Brooke gets in the dishwasher because she wants to help. What? Help? That thought never crossed my mind when Kaira got in the dishwasher, I went straight to anger (she’s being disobedient, she’s being destructive, etc.). It made me realize that I tend to think the “worst” first and immediately I knew that was contradictory to scripture. 1 Corinthians 12:7 in the Amplified bible says, “Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. So, we are to “believe the best” not the “worst”. I asked God to help me in this area, I wanted to line up with His Word.

From an early age I saw the worst of people (to the extremes) and I guess I just began to expect it, so you can guess what I got…the worst of people. It does not matter that my life was filled with the worst, the bible says to expect the best…so, I have a decision to make: a) keep doing what I’ve always done and keep getting what I’ve always gotten or b) agree with God. Of course, I choose the latter.

I had a woman from our church and her two daughters over for tea this week and we got to talking about a lot of things, which led me to pull out my notebook from a conference earlier this year. The first thing I turned to was the page with notes from the accusation teaching. They teach the manifestations in our lives when the spirit of accusation is present. I was amazed, blessed and blown away by what I read first:

From my notes:
We accuse others – love is to think the best and the enemy tries to get us to focus on the worst

Believe me when I read that I was praising God. He gave me the revelation I needed to be free from this spirit that is causing me to disagree with Him. We know that Satan is the accuser and he will accuse us, have others accuse us or have us accuse God. I certainly did not want this operating in my life.

I repented to the Father for agreeing with this spirit and asked forgiveness and cast out that spirit of accusation. Now through my obedience and being transformed by the renewing of my mind I will begin to line up with the word of God. I am excited to see how this will impact my life, my marriage and my children.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

80s FLASHBACK

The year was 1985 and I looked the part, fluorescent clothes (even make-up), uniquely 80s layered hair, ultra-teased with tons of Aquanet hairspray, thick belts, matching socks, earrings in every color and O-rings (remember Madonna wore them?). I probably would have never attempted some of what I did had I not been in the best company I had ever been in my whole life.

8th grade prom 1985 - me in the blue dress

The previous year I had come out of a school that was, by today’s standards, abusive to put it mildly and getting no better as I got older. After begging my mom to send me to another school and seeing she was not going to budge, I played the only card I had not played – I want to go live with my father! It was March I think and I was on a plane to Atlanta and I was going to be enrolled in public school for the first time in my life. Because I was the “new” kid from Miami, I was of interest to many. I made lots of friends, fast, I had only a handful in the school I left behind, despite my best efforts to “fit in”. After completing 7th grade I was on my way to high school, that is how it worked in the school district my dad lived in. My mother wanted me to come home and I said I would not go back to “that school”, so she agreed to let me attend another private school started by my first grade teacher.

Just for some background, I was terrified of school, I cried everyday, even some in college. In first grade I had Mrs. Santos, so it was better and my best friend Tina was in my class too. We were teacher’s pets, so we had no other friends, but that was okay because we had each other. Anyway, Mrs. Santos was the most loving woman I had ever met and I enjoyed being around and her and felt somewhat normal and safe in her presence.

Fast forward, it’s now 1984 and I am on my way to Mrs. Santos' school. She is the founder, principal and the 8th grade teacher. Now in my mind it just didn’t get any better than this, except that our 8th grade class was 20 strong and we were ALL friends. It was the best year of schooling for me and probably the happiest I ever was. Again, I felt loved and safe everyday! The school only went to 8th grade that meant graduation was inevitable. I was valedictorian for our class and had my speech prepared, but I cried the whole time, so Mrs. Santos read it. Everyone cried, and I mean cried a lot! We were like family and we were all going to different schools, I was actually moving about a half hour away. It was not a happy day!

Since 1985 I have kept in touch with Mrs. Santos yearly. Christmas cards, letters, visits and birth announcements. Our relationship has changed over the years as it should now that I am an adult. I have had two opportunities to see her this year. In February I took my kids to the school and showed them around and they got to meet her and her husband. It was a wonderful time. Then she said, that they would be having a tribute to my class this year at graduation and prom because it was the 25th anniversary of our graduation and we were the first graduating class. I was so excited. I began to feel the Lord’s gentle nudging that this was Him working.

Mrs. Santos invited me to give my speech from '85 at graduation and I was excited to have the opportunity, but even more excited when she gave me her blessing to say “whatever you want”. The Lord’s hand was moving. In prayer He lead me to verses of encouragement for the graduates. I asked her if she wanted me to tell her what I was going to say and she said she did not need to see it ahead of time.

I had the awesome opportunity to meet her, her family and the 8th grade graduates for a weekend of fun at Busch Gardens and Adventure Island just before graduation.

I was able to get in touch with a few friends from my graduating class and they were going to be at graduation too. It was thrilling! I had Isabella and Annais with me, which made it extra special.

On the drive down, I listened to Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and it solidified a lot of what I heard the Lord speaking to my heart. My kids and I had prayer time the day before and asked the Lord to prepare hearts for what He had to say.

Tuesday morning before graduation as I got ready the Lord spoke to me and said, “You were valedictorian 25 years ago because I have something to say to these people TODAY.” Wow, knock me over! This made it all the more exciting because my purpose was sure.

When Mrs. Santos introduced me she said that she was not giving a speech that day, that I was giving the principal’s address. Did you catch that? A high-school dropout with some college, the principal’s address? This is how God works. He instantly put me in position of authority and although most people there didn’t know me, I now had their attention. They would HEAR His word. She also said that I was here to give them a message of HOPE. Remember she did not know what I was going to say. So, for the first time I gave my speech, at least parts of it. I also shared the verses the Lord gave me and I told them that He loved them. That He died for them, individually and He has a purpose and a plan, a good one, for each of them. I told them 25 years ago I needed a family and the Lord sets the lonely in families and the Lord had brought me to that school. I told them how He rescued me out of deep waters because He delighted in me and how He delights in them. I told them their lives were before them and mine was still before me - in Him. I also shared with them what the Lord had spoken to my heart that morning, that HE had a message for them. I only spoke 8-10 minutes, but as I took my seat I was humbled by the opportunity the Lord gave me to share with people that I love. Best of all my oldest two were a part of all this and watched God work.

I went out to lunch with my two best friends from 8th grade and they both told me they were proud of me, even one of their husbands told me. I just smiled because I knew it was the Lord. They had nothing to be proud of me for. They don’t know what kind of house I live in, car I drive or much else about me for that matter, but they said they were proud. That just doesn’t “happen”. The world only tells us they are proud of us when we produce evidence that we are worthy of their praise. The only thing I shared with them was His love and now that - that is something to be PROUD of!


Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's - Psalm 103:4-5

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us Eph 3:20

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

THE ISSUE OF TRUST

If you missed the previous post Turning Point click here

The sermon on Mother’s Day was Trust, specifically trusting God! Just what I needed to hear, it shook up stuff in me and when it all settled things were a little clearer, Praise God. The scripture was from Jeremiah 17:5-8:

This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

The last verse stands out to me because as you remember, Psalm 1 – trees planted by streams of water – was the scripture and theme the Lord gave me for our homeschool year. A couple of weeks before this sermon, one of the pastor’s wives handed me this:

She said she wasn’t sure what it meant, but I knew immediately, it was the Lord confirming His word to me.

This sermon on trusting Him helped me link Psalm 1 and Jeremiah 17, specifically the tree planted by streams of water, together with trusting Him. So, that is what He has been trying to teach me all year?! I love when things come together, even if it took me an entire school year - better late than never. I cannot be a tree planted by streams of water that does not fear when heat comes if I do not trust Him.

I’ve mentioned before that this has been a most difficult year and I have struggled a lot spiritually, but a lot of that stems from not trusting God. The pastor said, “The God who made all things, makes all things new.” I needed to hear that and maybe you do too wherever you’re at today.

A friend called a couple of months ago and told me she had to talk to me about a dream she had about us. She said that her and I were together and we were running from a combine. We were hiding in a church basement to escape this combine. When sharing this with her husband he pointed out to her that combines are used to sift wheat from chaff. I told her that it was just like us to run! We have both been dealing with fear and anxiety this year, so running would be apropos. I knew the Lord was telling both of us something. He was doing something and He was doing something deep and we needed to stop running and let Him do it.

In his sermon the pastor said, “We run away from things in our life that would produce trust in us.” "Huh, you talking to me?", I asked...as I crawled under the seat.

If I run from the combine (the Lord), the sifting of the good from the bad, then I am not putting myself in a position to trust in God. I run because the sifting is painful and I’m afraid of pain, especially emotional. If I run and everything stays the same I do not see what God wants to do. I stay in my fear and other the stuff that goes with it and I continue not trusting Him. It’s a pretty vicious cycle if you ask me, one that I’d rather be done with for good. So, I resigned myself to go through the fire or the pruning if you will, I’m sitting still in the field waiting for the combine.

Before we left this church almost two years ago I began to trust so much in the church, pastors and people (of course I did not know I was doing this at the time), God had to take me out of there and get me totally dependent on Him, so I would learn to trust Him and only Him. Remember I felt released to return when I recognized and repented for those things – it took a year and a half.

“Learning to trust will produce the things in you that you need to survive any storm and walk through any fire. It will produce gratitude. It will produce joy. It will bring peace.” Tom Tanner

The pastor asked a tough question:

Where do you go or to whom do you turn when it comes to meeting the deepest needs of your life?

Acceptance (knowing that you are cared for loved and wanted)
Security (knowing that you are safe, protected and provided for)
Identity (believing that you are special and significant)
Purpose (believing that you are put here for a reason)

Ugh, he got me again! This is where the Lord began speaking to me about my misguided expectations of the church and my husband.

All these needs are well and good, but we MUST go to God first! I’m not sure what all this looks like, but I know that it is true. Read the following exhortation that ended the sermon and it is the merry-go-round that has been my life for almost two years.

When we trust in people or we trust in things then our security is dependant upon someone or something that we cannot predict we cannot control and whose resources are limited and the result is inconsistency and frustration. One day we may feel good the next day we’ll feel bad the next day we’ll feel good the next day we’ll feel bad and that’s the way it works when you choose to trust in people or things for your security. When you choose to trust in people or things for your identity then you’re identity will come more than likely from one of two places either from what you do or what people say about you and both of those things will get you into trouble. Because your significance and your identity will depend on circumstances and responses that you can’t control.. When you depend on acceptance when you look to other people or things for acceptance your acceptance is based on gaining approval from others which leads to a life of performance. You will find that you will do just about anything to gain acceptance and in trying to gain acceptance you will in fact loose your identity. When you look to people or things for your purpose then your purpose becomes confused by changing circumstances and by the changing opinions of both your critics and your friends. When you trust in God and you look to Him for all of these things then your security is dependant upon one who is totally faithful and whose resources infinite unlimited. Your identity is found in one who will never fail you, never forsake you and who has pledged to love you forever. Your acceptance is found in one who knows you completely and loves you unconditionally. Your purpose is grounded and rooted in God’s plan for you, not man’s opinion of you.

I don’t know what this trust thing looks like, but I am committed to trusting God to work this out in me. I trust in Him to walk alongside me on this journey and remove things that hinder me trusting Him and place things in me that enhance me trusting Him. The good news is because I am trusting Him I don't have to figure this out, He will! Amen to that!

During the sermon the pastor asked someone this question, “Why did Peter warm his hands in the enemies fire?” Mark 14:54 and the answer was, “because his hands were cold.” He had a real need, he just went to the wrong place to get his needs met, so it is with me and I for one am tired of warming my hands in enemy fire because I ALWAYS get burned!!!

You can hear the sermon in its entirety here click on May 9, 2010

Trusting God,

TURNING POINT

As I sat in my first of two different services on Mother’s Day I never expected to be called to action. As I’ve mentioned before one of the songs that morning was called Potter’s Wheel by Daniel Bashta and the words are:

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be and more

So place me on the potter’s wheel
Spin me until
There’s nothing left but You in my life
Cause brokenness is what I want
So do a work Yeah in my heart
So when You look at me
You see Your reflection

I sang those words with a deep desire for God to do the things in my heart that the song talks about. Worship is the biggest part of my relationship with God. It has become an act of prayer for me, it is where I connect with Him in deep and intimate ways and cry out to Him from the depths of my heart and spirit. It is where I truly see Him in all His glory, majesty and splendor. It doesn’t matter that I can’t carry a tune, I sing anyway! I just did not expect His first answer to come just after communion.

In a post a while back I talked about seasons and how I have tendency to go back to old seasons, which by the way is disobedience. I do it because I’m afraid, which by the way is a lack of trust. See how this is all fitting together? Trust and obey, there is no other way. Amazing how He does that. Anyway, in the post about seasons I talked about being wounded as a result of my disobedience. Well, shortly after that post the Lord told me to go to that person and repent and ask for forgiveness. I talked to him and told him I needed to come see him, but have not done it yet. I have a good relationship with him, so I am completely comfortable with doing this, but on Mother’s Day the Lord called me to repent not to that person (he wasn’t there), but to the senior pastor (who I do not have a relationship with) much more difficult. Because the Lord totally blew me away with the card I sent to Nita I was quick to obey, no hesitation or stalling this time. After the service I told my husband I would be right back and I headed straight for the pastor. I was already crying when I got there. His sermon that day was on trusting God and I realized that for a long time I had trusted the church, pastors, people, etc. more than I trusted God. I harbored anger, bitterness and unforgiveness towards them for things they were never supposed to do in the first place. So, I told him all this and repented to him and asked his forgiveness. He said he was sorry and I said I was sorry too and that was the end of that, but I knew something shifted in me spiritually at that moment.

I still plan on speaking to the other pastors, but I was obedient to what God told me to do that day. It released me and I felt lighter leaving. We are now back at the church, we’ve come full circle and I believe that was key in God releasing us to be back there. It is like coming home. I never wanted to leave in the first place and was SLOW to leave and, you guessed it, OBEY. I’ll share more about that next time because I don’t want this post to be too long and lose anyone. I will also share highlights of his sermon on trusting God, you don’t want to miss it.

God is faithful and trustworthy and ALWAYS has our best interest at heart.

Romans 2:4 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?

SOMETHING I LEFT OUT

Follow-up to yesterday's post read first

The Lord reminded me of a very important lesson I left out from yesterday’s post. As I attempted to hold onto something that was not mine, the Lord asked me what else I was holding onto? What? Me? “Yes, you are holding onto many things that don’t belong to you!” Ouch! Of course, He was right and after careful examination this is what I came up with.

I hold onto behaviors that are not pleasing to the Lord, but since I don’t trust Him I rely on these behaviors to keep me “safe”. In reality I am not “safe” just deeper in bondage. A pastor approached me once and said, “The Lord says that the fear will not keep you safe, He will.” That is truth, but I hold onto the fear for dear life although the Lord says “FEAR NOT” in His word I think 365 times. I’m a slow learner sometimes.

I hold onto things because I am afraid of lacking. God says in His Word, “My people shall lack no good thing.” I have a hard time with that because of my trust issue, but I’m working on that. I will keep certain things in case I need them someday instead of trusting His provision. My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in Glory.

I hold onto relationships, ones that are dead or dying simply because I don’t want to let go or am afraid to let go. I was reminded of this recently when talking to a friend from elementary school. We haven’t spoken in over 20 years and she never asked me one question about me, but proceeded to talk about herself. She was no different back then, but I held onto the relationship. It made me sad that I was willing to maintain a relationship like that just to have a “friend”.

We all hold onto things that the Lord would rather see us let go of. Things that keep us from His BEST for us, things that keep us from His BLESSINGS, things that keep us from His WILL for our lives. I’m still recognizing things that I’m holding onto and asking Him to show me how to let go, because I cannot do it on my own.

I am reminded again of the blessing of obedience, if the Lord says let it go then I can let go in total peace and trust! Trust and obey, there is no other way.

TRUST AND OBEY, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Words from a hymn written in 1887, but the words and message are timeless!

If I really sit down and think about why I do not obey, it usually comes down to a lack of trust.

At the end of March I took Judah for prayer for his ear infections. It had been a couple of years since I had been to that particular church’s prayer night. After they were done praying for me and Judah a lady called me over and handed me two pictures that she had painted for me while I was receiving prayer.

(Sorry for the terrible picture, I tried taking it over and over again. The text says, "I have set angels in charge over you. You are never alone.")

This one immediately ministered to me because Isabella had asked me to read the story of Jesus’ temptation in the desert before I left the house. For the first time the last line really stood out to me and became rhema:

Matthew 4:11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

The next picture ministered to me for a moment and I cried, but the Lord told me this one was not for me and He told me who it was for.




A little girl approached me as I left and handed me yet another painting (above) and said that it was “the Lord’s presence”. Needless to say I was extremely blessed and full leaving there that night. I came home and taped the two pictures from the lady to my bathroom mirror and gave the one from the little girl to Isabella.

The Lord kept gently reminding me to send the one of the jar with tears to someone else. I hesitated, I stalled, I flat out disobeyed. I wanted that for myself, I wanted the constant reminder that He sees ME. I could not let go of that tangible reminder. I was feeling forgotten by God, unseen, desperate for Him and I did NOT trust Him.

About a month later I knew that I would be seeing the lady who the picture was for, so I sat down with the picture, a card and a pen. I cried. I mean really cried. I wrote to her telling her that the Lord said this was for her and that I did not want to give it to her, but He was telling me to trust Him. I put the picture in the card and sealed the envelope and headed to the meeting. She was not there. I asked someone if they would see her and they said they would not – maybe I could just keep it after all? No! I addressed it and put it in the mailbox. My well meaning son brought me the mail, not really, it was just the card that I had put in there. Hmmm, maybe I could still keep it? No! I explained to him that it was outgoing mail and asked him to take it back. Two days later I read this (please click on the link and read Nita's post, it is overwhelming). I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God, I cried and cried. The blessing for me was not in the keeping of that which did not belong to me, but the giving it away. Despite my disobedience the Lord used that picture at the perfect time to bless Nita and Drew. I was left speechless at what the Lord did.

You know what the message was at the meeting that night, the night that I took the picture to its rightful owner...That God in the Old Testament is El Roi, THE GOD WHO SEES.

This is not to puff myself up or pat myself on the back for my obedience, I just want to share the result of obedience (even delayed obedience). The Lord used this situation to show me that the blessing is in the obedience. He was preparing me for an even greater task just a week later…I’ll share that next time.

Until then, do you really trust Him? Are you obeying Him? If not, why not? The more I learn to trust Him the easier it is to obey Him especially when I see how He took my mustard seed and multiplied it!

POTTER'S WHEEL - TSMSS

For Mother's Day my request was simple I wanted to attend two worship services. This song was played during the first worship service. They played a video similar to the one in this post (maybe even the same one). Isn't it amazing when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you ARE where you ARE supposed to be?

God is shaping me, molding me into who He wants me to be and although it's painful at times I am willing (sometimes kicking and screaming) to withstand the discomfort to rid myself of the things that remain that are not of Him. I want to see, I want others to see, I want Him to see His reflection.

Worship was very powerful for me that morning and the message even more so, you can listen to it here. It is listed as the Mother's Day sermon, but it was on TRUST. A couple of years ago I realized that I did not trust God and we worked through that or so I thought, now there seems to be a whole new layer to it. I haven't trusted Him in a long time, I have accused Him and I have doubted His intentions. I have no reason not to trust Him other than I attach disappointments I've experienced to Him. Disappointments with my dad, my husband, church, etc. I wrap it all up together, but it doesn't fit in a neat little package because God cannot fit in a box with humanity.

Let me just state for the record that God has NEVER let me down! He has always done exceedingly abundantly more than I could ask, think or imagine, ALWAYS! He is faithful because that is who He is, He cannot deny Himself or His Word. I on the other hand fall short. I start looking around at people, places and things for comfort and reprieve and when it doesn't come I doubt that God loves me, that He cares about me or that He will do anything about the situation. I was so convicted during worship about my attitudes towards God, it was humbling and sad at the same time.

I have let fear override my faith and get me into a dangerous place with the Lord. Sunday it was as if a light bulb went on. You always hear people talk about peeling back the layers of an onion and I was reminded of this on Sunday. This is another layer of my walk with Him, He is taking me deeper, but He must remove another layer...He must! So, I surrender and I sing:

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be

Make me
Shape me
Into everything that You want me to be and more

So place me on the potter’s wheel
Spin me until
There’s nothing left but You in my life
Cause brokenness is what I want
So do a work Yeah in my heart
So when You look at me
You see Your reflection


Song by Daniel Bashta

Be blessed and be changed!

Joining Amy for Then Sings my Soul Saturday.

FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY - KING OF THE JUNGLE

Here he is - Judah - King of the Jungle!
Ohhhh, I love this cupcake!

First taste of watermelon!

Judah giving his "RRRRoar"!!! Yes, I do know that is a giraffe he is holding!
Judah and cousin Brooke Lynn


Just over a month ago we celebrated Judah's first birthday - King of the Jungle! We have been working on his "roar" for months. Judah, what does the lion say, "RRRROAR!" SO cute!

Here are some pictures of us celebrating Judah! All pictures were taken by Ann Purcell and you can view more of her work here. We have had her take pictures at several of our events and have been grateful and blessed that a dear friend has captured our special moments leaving us free to enjoy them! I would have never gotten the amazing shots that she did!

It has been an amazing year with this little boy; he has added so much to our family. Judah loves life and he loves his family. He is sweet, curious and on-the-go all the time! I am amazed at how much one little person can change a whole family. I am thankful to God for the gift of Judah - in His perfect time.

Over the next few days I will share more highlights of the party such as our worship time, family pictures, food with recipes and decorations/favors. First birthdays are my favorite and Judah's was no exception.

Thank you all for sharing this wonderful year with us!

And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; Genesis 29:35

Worn out after a wonderful day!

For the story behind Judah's name and newborn pictures, click here

EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY...

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Ephesians 3:20

God has been continually speaking to me and orchestrating circumstances as I seek Him in every area of my business. He is faithful to run this business and I show up and do the work He has me do. Recently I had an amazing experience of His faithfulness concerning Tea & Traditions. He called me to this business two years ago and has provided ever since. No money has had to come out of our personal account to pay any business expenses although we still have a sizeable loan that we are repaying.

God’s Faithfulness Manifested…

A friend lent me a book on New Year’s Eve called In His Steps by Charles Sheldon. It is an old book with a timeless message. In it a pastor, after a series of events, encourages his church to commit for one year not to make any decision or take any action without first asking the question, “What would Jesus do?” The book follows the stories of these people as they begin to practically and impractically live this out in their everyday lives.

All the people who made the pledge meet every week after service for prayer and support. One Sunday a newspaper editor communicates to everyone that he wishes for his paper to become a “Christian” paper, but he lacks the funds to do so. One of the members at the meeting is a very wealthy woman and has been looking for ways to use her money as she thinks Jesus would have.

While reading that part of the story I offered up a simple prayer to the Father, “Lord, would there be anyone whom you would use to help financially with Tea & Traditions?” That was Monday morning and there was a $500 check in the mail when Todd brought it in after work. I can not tell you how my faith soared!

There was a note inside that this was in response to praying about what to do with a receipt of a sum of money and the note said, “You were on God’s list”. The note specified that it was for my “ministry.” The note also said, "Keep spreading the good news."

We serve a faithful God, a God who hears the cry of our hearts. I was blessed by this gift and will bless others as I was blessed. I pray the givers of this gift will be encouraged in their faith as they were obedient to the Father as He answered His daughter’s prayer of faith.

I do not know what made me pray that prayer or what gave me the boldness to ask, but the bible says that we have not because we ask not. What are you believing God for? Be bold, ask your Daddy who wants to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.

GOD'S LOVE

Have you ever bought something for someone because the Lord prompted you to do so? You didn’t know why they would need that mug, plaque, book, etc., but He did. Have you ever been overwhelmed by His love for someone when giving them something that you knew He wanted you to give them? It’s amazing isn’t it?

Have you prayed that prayer, the one that goes something like, “Lord give me your heart for others, let me see them like you see them.” He has answered me time and time again, supernaturally enabling me to share His love with someone else. I think I missed it a lot of the time not realizing He was answering in a particular way and I guess I assume all of sudden I will feel like He feels and see what He sees, but I don’t. Usually I will be burdened with His great love for someone else and in those moments, it never dawned on me that this is His expression of love for this person and He feels the same way about me. Pretty amazing!

You know the flowers your friend brings to your house, the card with just the right scripture in it or the hot chocolate left on your doorstep on a cold, winter’s day by a friend who knew you had none. That is how He loves us - through one another. If we are not expressing His love to others, to the world, who is?

TEA PARTY PRAISE, PART 2

As I mentioned just minutes after leaving the tea party…

I got a phone call and it was a neighbor of my mother’s boyfriend's son. She said that my mother told her I wanted to sell the business and she was calling to talk about it. (That was not exactly what I said) I was caught off guard, but I was still basking in the Lord’s faithfulness and presence. I was “self-controlled and alert” because I know “My enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) I was on my way to another event that would keep me out until 6 p.m. that night. I was tired. This was no time to have this conversation; I said I would call her back.

Two things that stood out to me here:

1) It was so like the he enemy to try and catch me when I was busy and tired, so I would get caught up in the moment, 2) BUT it was SO LIKE GOD to go before me and show up in a big way just moments earlier giving me firm footing in my faith to fight one little tempting phone call (fiery darts)

Do I want to sell the business? If that is what God wants, but like I said I do not feel released.

One lady came up to me after the tea and said, “You have a ministry. People need to be taught this. We are raising a generation of children who will not know how to have a face-to-face conversation.” Wow, when you put it that way! My business is a High and Holy calling.

The previous owner saw this business very much the same way – a ministry. To me she was a forerunner for what God called me to do with this business. I can do what I do with this business because she was faithful in what He called her to do. When God hands the baton to the next minister I will know and I will joyfully pass it on. For now I stand firm in knowing this is what He has called me to do. There are still days (many) that I am busier than I would like to be and want to throw in the (tea) towel…BUT GOD!!!

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16

TEA PARTY PRAISE

God prepared me for months for this event. It was a tea party at a local church for 100 women. They invited me to speak and bring tea. The topic "Biblical Hospitality". It was a wonderful time - from the months of preparing my heart to minister to these women to the 200+ cups of tea I made. It went beautifully! My heart was full when I got there and overflowing when I left.

I was as excited when I left there as I was when I wrote this. Knowing He had called me and was preparing me was beyond description. Bringing stories to my recollection to share with these women. Making His word come alive, so my passion would ignite them.

Earlier in the week I read a story by a local pastor titled DIS-CONNECTED. In it he recounts overhearing a father talk about taking his teenage daughter and a friend to a football game. During the game she was texting and when he asked her who she was texting, she pointed to the friend next to her. That story startled me! I have a lot more to say about that in another post. It was part of my argument about the importance for these women to open their homes and share Christ's love with a "dis-connected" world. I'm not talking just the "world", I'm talking about the people in your church. The ones who sit next to you week after week and you never say more than, "Hi, how ya doin?'" scootin' away before you hear their answer. I encouraged them to do it despite the condition of their homes.

That may sound simple to you or you may be one of the many that will not invite others over because your house is not "just right". People are lonely and hurting, they just want to be asked, invited, included, so please you be the ONE! Be the one who invites, opens and includes someone who just needs a friend. Afterall, God does not care about the condition of your home, he cares about your spiritual condition and that is obedience.

Romans 12:13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

1 Peter 4:9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

These women got the message! Their comments heartfelt and sincere after my talk. God spoke to their hearts and moved in their spirit to obey His call to hospitality.

What I love about tea is it is a simple way to answer the call to biblical hospitality easily, affordably and in a relaxed atmostphere. Things happen over a pot of tea that may not happen otherwise - people let their guard down, they open up and they share their lives. The art of brewing tea causes us to slow down long enough to be PRESENT.

So, I encourage you as I encouraged them - INVITE! Then I want you to come back and share your testimony with me, because I know there will be one because God is JUST THAT GOOD!

What happened minutes after the tea party in the next post because...your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

DO YOU EVER GET SO EXCITED...

when you know the Lord has called you to do something? I DO!

Several people have called me to speak at events in the next couple of months (after I said I was not going to do ANY events in the near future). Good thing God orders my steps even when my plans (flesh) attempt to get in the way.

I asked my hubby to pray about all these opportunities because I want to be careful and do only those things that I know the Lord has planned and not because it is "good for business" or "advertising". My business is a business second and a ministry FIRST and it is easy to lose sight of that if I am not "checking in" with the Lord about every opportunity that comes my way.

Of all the calls I have gotten I am only speaking at one event at a local church as a fundraiser for their bridal department. I will be speaking about tea of course, but my main focus will be hospitality and our biblical call to be hospitable. It is one of my favorite topics. I will encourage the women to extend hospitality using tea because it is a simple and elegant way to fellowship with lots of women at one time. Tea tends to open up conversation as we must slow to make and drink it and the Lord does the rest. Opening our homes is more about preparing our hearts for those coming than preparing our homes.

I am extremely excited about this opportunity because I know the Lord has called me to do it. He has already begun preparing me, I know He will show up big as He always does. When I speak at churches or wherever He calls me I am always blown away by His Mighty presence and blessing. It is not for another two months and I know He will have a lot to teach me until then...

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Seems like this verse keeps popping up...He must be trying to tell me something!