Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Hard to believe that two months has passed since bringing Judah home from the hospital. He has already grown and changed so much. I thank God that I have finally learned to rest in this stage. I have been able to enjoy Judah tremendously, even more so than with Kaira. I guess with each child you have more and more insight allowing you to rest and enjoy more.

Judah loves Isabella, his whole face lights up when she comes near him. He shows a lot of excitement now when one of comes close to him. He has discovered his hands and enjoys looking at them. He is sleeping through the night, which started at seven weeks...yeah Judah! He talks to us all the time making oooooo noise and a sort of humming sound. He also responds when we do it to him. If you kiss him he makes the kissing sound back, so cute!

God has shown me so much since the anticipation of Judah's arrival almost two years ago up until now and it has been a blessing and has changed me. All continual reminders of God's nearness and His great love for me and my family. Understanding His love a little more each time I have had a baby has continued to change me. He always knew who I was in Him, it has taken me four kids to even begin to understand.

Sunday, May 24, 2009



THIS IS KAIRA LEFT UNATTENDED FOR 60 SECONDS that is her face full of my makeup - cute, huh?Kaira has really been a handful these days. Into everything and disobedient. It is easy to chalk it off to the adjustment of a new baby in the house, but the Lord has begun to show me there is so much more.

I have been telling my husband for a LONG time that disciplining is not working, not just with Kaira, but with the other two as well and this is what the Lord told me:

"You have been disciplining your children the way the world does, they are not of this world; that is why it is not working.

Wow, that summed it up in a nutshell and made so much sense. We have disciplined our children, but they have not been "trained" (to develop or form the habits, thoughts or behaviors of) from the Word. In other words, transformed by the renewing of their minds. We tell them "treat others the way you want to be treated" but they see us at odds all the time and not speaking more often than I would like to admit.

Isabella and Annais were arguing over who wrote the correct number four in the van, I mean they were really fighting over this. I pulled the van over on the highway and explained to them that if four people were taught the same way to write a number four they would all write them differently over time and they would all be right. It was a startling reminder that these little ones watch everything. They were willing to hurt each other and risk harmony in their relationship just to be right. Ouch!

The Lord has also been showing me how we have all contributed to some of Kaira's behavior. I sat down and talked with everyone about it and we all sat down with Kaira and repented to her and asked her to forgive us for what we have done. It was precious to listen to some of what was said, the older two really understood what we were doing and they were thoughtful in their discussions with her. I have been more diligent in monitoring the other kids and how they treat her and more gentle in correcting them. It is all so exhausting, but so necessary. I have been so wrapped up in marriage issues, these have fallen by the wayside and now we are all paying the price. My behavior has yet to catch up to this latest revelation or the desire in my heart, but I trust the Lord will bring it to pass. These kids are victims in a war that was started long before they were born...sad, so sad!

I want so much to have a loving example of marriage for my children, but there has been so much hurt. Much healing needs to take place and I pray the Lord will make it a speedy work. Right now my heart is too tender to trust the one who has hurt me repeatedly and betrayed me so often, but for the sake of my kids I must surrender to the Lord and allow Him to heal my broken heart because the love I give them depends on it.

With His help I am loving Kaira in the midst of her antics and being kinder and gentler even when my insides are raging. Soon, I trust, the Lord will calm the storm inside of me and bring sunny skies to our household.

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 16:32

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Today at lunch Isabella asked thoughtfully, "If God looks at the heart not on the outside why do we dress up for church?"

This kid keeps me on my toes!



Isabella would never agree to trade because she knows Emma has an off button!


You know that woman on the morning news that buys $175 worth of groceries and pays $23, well I want to be her. I enjoy saving money, so did my dad, it is in my blood (I sometimes imagine him smiling when I get a really good deal).

With the rising cost of almost EVERYTHING it makes me feel like I am doing something to help my family. We all talk about wanting to be that "Proverbs 31" woman and I think more of us are closer to her than we imagine. I believe saving money is part of her character, part of how she would have looked out for her family in 2009.

My purchase today at Target

Total $101.42, I paid $47.54 - total savings $53.88, so I am getting there! Until I get to be that woman on the morning news, I am happy to save more than I spend.

Notice there are four large frozen dinners in there ($6.94 each) and two boxes of hair color (Revlon & Garnier) found them on clearance and had coupons. There are also two large bottles of Suave 2 in 1 shampoo for my kids. I did not buy anything today that I did not have a coupon for. I got four free apples too!

How are you saving money these days? I would love to hear about it...

Monday, May 11, 2009


Motherhood is a valid profession.

It is that belief that inspired Jill Savage and a group of women to plan the first Hearts at Home conference 16 years ago. Today these conferences are a place where moms can go to find the encouragement and education they need to do this mothering thing right!

The problem is, not everyone can attend a Hearts at Home conference, so Hearts at Home University was created!

Hearts at Home University is a new resource designed to encourage and equip you in your journey as a parent! These live web casts, affordably priced at $15 each, allow you to tap into continuing education as a mom on a regular basis right from the comfort of your own computer.

The topics that will be covered over the Spring and Summer Semester include:

“Is There Really Sex after Kids” with Jill Savage
“She’s Gonna Blow” with Julie Barnhill
“Redefining Romance” with Mark and Jill Savage
“Keeping Your Ducks in a Relative Row” with Karen Ehman

For information on dates and times, or to register go here.

Monday, May 4, 2009


Have you ever felt alone as a mom? Lost in your chosen field of mothering?

There is an organization that was created to encourage, educate and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Hearts at Home helps thousands of moms love their lives through their many resources including conferences, website, and books.

Recently I partnered up with this organization as a blogger. Over time I hope to share with you the many resources this ministry has to offer (old ones and new). To learn more about the Hearts at Home Blogging team go here.

In the meantime I would like to encourage you to explore their website and blog for an immediate dose of mothering encouragement.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


One night I held the hairdryer over Isabella’s ear too long and burned it a little. She said, “Ouch, you burned my ear”. I turned the hairdryer off and told her it reminded me of when the men came to arrest Jesus and one of his followers cut off one of the soldier’s ears and Jesus healed him.

Her response was priceless:

“Mommy, that’s love!” And with a look of revelation on her precious face she said, “Oh - I get it, love your enemies”.

I was amazed at how well she understood Jesus’ actions and applied them to scripture that she has heard (and apparently hidden in her heart). Her revelation was revelation for me too!

I remember watching The Passion of the Christ by Mel Gibson and the scene in the garden in particular when they came to arrest Jesus was the most troubling for me. Why? Because Jesus immediately reached up and healed that man’s ear and I thought to myself I do not understand love like that. Even then the connection of “loving your enemies” never hit me, but it has now thanks to the words Isabella excitingly uttered in my bathroom that night. The teachable moment was my daughter teaching me – Praise God!

When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.
But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him. Luke 22:49-51

Saturday, May 2, 2009



As soon as I got pregnant with Judah I knew that I would try nursing again. I was ready! I got a breast pump, nursing cover and nursing pads for my shower. The excitement of walking out my healing was high.

Judah was born and I nursed him in the hospital and none of the fears or flashbacks were there. I was praising God! Then I gave him a bottle, which in retrospect was a mistake. I also decided that while on the painkillers I would pump and he could have a bottle, another mistake. My milk, even with pumping, never caught up to Judah’s demand. I am not discouraged because I know that I could have and would have nursed him. It still makes me a little sad, but I did learn a lot in the process. So, I praise God for His healing!

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