Sunday, May 24, 2009

WANTED: PATIENCE

THIS IS KAIRA

THIS IS KAIRA LEFT UNATTENDED FOR 60 SECONDS that is her face full of my makeup - cute, huh?Kaira has really been a handful these days. Into everything and disobedient. It is easy to chalk it off to the adjustment of a new baby in the house, but the Lord has begun to show me there is so much more.

I have been telling my husband for a LONG time that disciplining is not working, not just with Kaira, but with the other two as well and this is what the Lord told me:

"You have been disciplining your children the way the world does, they are not of this world; that is why it is not working.

Wow, that summed it up in a nutshell and made so much sense. We have disciplined our children, but they have not been "trained" (to develop or form the habits, thoughts or behaviors of) from the Word. In other words, transformed by the renewing of their minds. We tell them "treat others the way you want to be treated" but they see us at odds all the time and not speaking more often than I would like to admit.

Isabella and Annais were arguing over who wrote the correct number four in the van, I mean they were really fighting over this. I pulled the van over on the highway and explained to them that if four people were taught the same way to write a number four they would all write them differently over time and they would all be right. It was a startling reminder that these little ones watch everything. They were willing to hurt each other and risk harmony in their relationship just to be right. Ouch!

The Lord has also been showing me how we have all contributed to some of Kaira's behavior. I sat down and talked with everyone about it and we all sat down with Kaira and repented to her and asked her to forgive us for what we have done. It was precious to listen to some of what was said, the older two really understood what we were doing and they were thoughtful in their discussions with her. I have been more diligent in monitoring the other kids and how they treat her and more gentle in correcting them. It is all so exhausting, but so necessary. I have been so wrapped up in marriage issues, these have fallen by the wayside and now we are all paying the price. My behavior has yet to catch up to this latest revelation or the desire in my heart, but I trust the Lord will bring it to pass. These kids are victims in a war that was started long before they were born...sad, so sad!

I want so much to have a loving example of marriage for my children, but there has been so much hurt. Much healing needs to take place and I pray the Lord will make it a speedy work. Right now my heart is too tender to trust the one who has hurt me repeatedly and betrayed me so often, but for the sake of my kids I must surrender to the Lord and allow Him to heal my broken heart because the love I give them depends on it.

With His help I am loving Kaira in the midst of her antics and being kinder and gentler even when my insides are raging. Soon, I trust, the Lord will calm the storm inside of me and bring sunny skies to our household.

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 16:32

5 comments:

Mari said...

Kaira is beautiful, even with makeup all over her face! I'm sorry you have been going through this hard time but I'm glad God has given you this word. I'll be praying for you and your family as you work to follow His direction.

Nicole said...

Mari, your words really spoke to me today as I had banished my 2 (not so) little ones to their rooms for misbehavior and felt frustrated and angry as my dh had the freedom to go play soccer with his buddies while I was left "trapped" here at home. To "blow of some steam" I decided to get online and catch up with blogs. This post was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time, by no coincidence, I'm sure. Just wanted to thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to speak to others.

AtlantaMama said...

oh my word. She did her make-up to look like she'd gotten into a fight.
You are a great Mom!! And I know that God is giving you wisdom to know how to parent her.

Amy Guerino said...

As I drink the lovely tea I get from you, I will pray today! I remember all too well the challenging age she is at and how to shape and mold her heart....only God can guide.

Scott said...

Oh sweet friend!

I'm here for you!

I would love to help with parenting tips if that would give you some encouragment!

It is very hard to give our children all they need when our marriage is not all it needs to be with Jesus as the center. Praying on that to come to fruition quickly! God is the God of resurrection - trust HIM to completely restore your marriage! He wants that just as much as you do. Pray to lay it all down - all the past hurts, disappointments and trials that don't seem to end!

Many hugs and wanted to say Judah is just precious!!!!

Many hugs and much love!
Jill

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