Tuesday, March 3, 2009


It was 1999 and Todd and I were at dinner with several people from church. There was a couple there I had never met, but had known Todd since he was a child. They addressed me with the question, “How many children are you planning on having?” This is what I said…

“We will have as many children as we can afford to have.”

The couple was very impressed with my answer and it seemed to go over well with everyone else at the table, including Todd’s parents. So, it convinced me it was a “right and good” answer.

Well, that was ten years and four children ago and I would have to say that was one of my MOST “faithless” comments. At the time I had just become a Christian and had no idea what it meant to fully submit to His Lordship (and am still learning and growing) and it would be several years before I understood it in the area of children. If I had not sought after the Lord in desperate need of His wisdom, love and grace, I may have not experienced the joy, freedom and healing that has come from each pregnancy and birth experience.

1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved (click here for an explanation of the fullness of "saved" in this context) in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

To say “we will have as many as we can afford” showed my lack of faith, relationship and trust in God and also my self-reliance. Since that time Todd and I have embraced the gift and blessings that our children are and know that for us, now, the only answer to the question, “Are you done having children?” is “We do not know.”

My pregnancies and post-partum periods have not been a bed of roses, so I do not say this casually because it has all been easy. I was riddled with fear my first pregnancy, which only increased with delivery by emergency c-section followed by severe post-partum depression. Click here to read an article "How Fear Affects the Body" My second pregnancy I had heart palpitations and Annais was born with kidney reflux. After his birth I met God as my healer and began to understand the provisions already made for my healing. My pregnancy with Kaira was wonderful and this pregnancy with Judah at age 37 (will be 38 a few weeks after his birth) has been the most incredible experience of my life. I have not had one cold, virus or infection this whole pregnancy. This is the first time in my WHOLE life that I have gone this many months without being sick, praise God!

So, for those who so comically ask us, “Do you know where babies come from?” The answer is ABSOLUTELY, and we look forward to as many blessings He wants to give us. God says, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee…” My pregnancies may surprise some, but they are no surprise to the one who birthed my children first in His heart.

In Proverbs 16:9 it says “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps” and was that was so true for me, but the problem was my heart was not right, so I devised my plans from a place of pain and bondage. My heart was broken and wounded and only after allowing the Lord to heal my heart could I agree with His plans for our family.


Blessed Mom of 8 said...

Beautiful! Beautiful post!!

Praising God you are now found and the healing of your heart has not only begun but is living inside of you waiting to meet you and your husband in a few short weeks!

Praising God for the healing work only He can do in our hearts! Oh do I know that work too! Fear is a powerful thing and God knew this thus giving us 365 verses to fear not!

Hugs and love and THANK YOU for the wonderful give-away gifts! I can't wait to bless my friends with them!


Kelly said...

What a BEAUTIFUL post!! I love the things you have written about here!! It leaves me craving more - so feel free to teach me all you can about this 'subject'!!! Have you ever read the book "supernatural childbirth" by Jackie Mize?? They are AMAZING and doing Gods great works every single day through missionary work in Haiti! In this book she teaches what the Bible says about fear and bondage that can come with pregnancy and how to go against these wrong thoughts. I LOVE this book and have recently sent it on to a great friend of mine who I met online through my blog..she lost a precious baby boy in July and her and her husband have since decided to try again! Praise God that they hearts were not closed to His blessings after such a terrible loss - I have had 3 terrible pregnancies, and of course we lost our dear sweet baby Liberty Oct 07, but lately I have felt that tug on my heart again but there is a HUGE difference 'this time around' - my husband and I have since MADE God number 1 in our lives! We have shed light on all of our secret and sometimes not so secret sin, we have really gotten into Gods word and have sought HIS direction in our lives, together - united as one! So I am excited to see just what God has in store for us!!! I know you are getting so very close to your due date..but like I mentioned earlier - teach, teach away sister! I would LOVE to hear all about the wonderful blessings God wrapped up in these precious babes! Aslo, we will be praying for you and your sweet family as your due date approaches!! You are a wonderful, uplifting and faithful servant and I always enjoying reading your blog!! Thank you for sharing these truths with all of us! God bless you!

Kelly - email me anytime momleavingalegacy@yahoo.com

(not sure if you remember me or not, we spoke through an email about our marriage and having similar trust issues...just a quick update - God has really done some marvalous works through our marriage the past few weeks - its never been stronger!!)

God bless you!

Mama D said...

My hearts sings with joy over your transparency. You remind of the virtuous woman!
Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness. Prov. 31:25-26
A woman yielded to the Lord is beautiful indeed.

Mari said...

I will echo the others and tell you that this is a beautiful post. You are yielding to God in a big way and your trust in Him is a great testimony.

AtlantaMama said...

great post. I love the answers you are giving... we have had to say that too, "we don't know" but we do know that Children are a GIFT from the Lord. = )
I'm so happy to hear your story in this way and to hear that this pregnancy has been SO great and SO healthy!!! Praise be to God!

Can't wait to see pictures of Judah soon!

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

I love reading posts like this.

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