Friday, April 4, 2008


Two years ago I sat in class at our church office for our monthly healing school. I eagerly anticipated this class every month, as I was excited to learn more about healing and how to pray for healing, but not this night; I really had not wanted to come. I almost turned around half way there.

The pastor shared a lot that night and as he did the Holy Spirit brought one memory to mind. I dismissed it, but it kept coming back. After the pastor was done he lead us in a corporate prayer and I sobbed the whole way through. He asked if anyone wanted to share and I raised my hand, still unable to speak through the sobs. I did not know what I would say, but I knew that something had just happened in me. I left that night and called a friend and told her I thought something really big happened and I was not sure what it was, but it was going to change my life, my marriage and my mothering. Little did I know how much changed in that two hour class.

I had battled depression since I was a child, but that night when the pastor prayed something settled in my spirit, wounds were released and healing came (although I did not know it at the time). Over the next several months the Lord confirmed my experience through prayer, visions, and prophetic words. I was pregnant at the time with baby three and six months later I delivered my baby girl, Kaira Hope. Shortly after I knew clearly what happened that night in the healing school - I was healed of a life time of depression. I had been in counseling and on medication for almost 20 years. After my second was born I no longer went to counseling, instead I began to be transformed by the renewing of my mind through the Word and after Kaira's birth I no longer needed medication.

During my two previous pregnancies I stopped all medication, but resumed after delivery. The Lord began to speak to me clearly about the depression and the medication and what He had done that night. I was healed! It has been two years since that unforgettable and life-changing day, but the effects will last a lifetime.

Just think what I would have missed if I had not gone that night. Maybe that is the night I learned not to go with my emotions (which has blessed me countless times since then).

I listened to Sara Groves tonight and I wonder what led her to write the following lyrics that sound so familiar to me:

Something changed inside me broke wide open all spilled out
Till I had no doubt that something changed
Never would have believed it till I felt it in my own heart
In the deepest part the healing came

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24


Writeaway said...

Wow! This is the kind of testimony that ought to be shared with the whole body. God is able to do beyond what we can ask or think. And most people think depression is a life-long sentence. It isn't. That's the thing about God. Nothing is a life-long sentence.

Mari said...

Amen! Depression is a pit of hopelessness and we know that we have a HOPE that DOES NOT disappoint us. Depression is another way the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, but HE came so that we may have LIFE and have it to the full.

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